Thursday, July 5, 2012
What color is your pear-a-chute?
I'd love to be the person who makes up names for colors. I don't think they would ever hire me though. Did you know there is a beige called "sensible hue"? I actually refused to use it on a job, just for the name. Nope, I think the occasional beige is nice, and for certain people, a quiet color palette is perfectly chosen, but I live in the Midwest, where we have entire neighborhoods of dust colored houses. Cheap houses, expensive houses, money makes no difference. They all look exactly like their neighbors. THIS IS NOT SENSIBLE. This is sensory deprivation.
Nope, they wouldn't hire me to name the paint chips, because I would insist on a warning label on all beiges and grays.
Warning: This color may cause fatigue, disinterest, and drainage of joy, if not chosen for the pure love of it.
They also wouldn't hire me, because I would insist on leaving my little naming desk, and wandering down to the mixing room, and breaking nine of the ten dispensers of lamp black colorant, after which I would hold the color matching software designers hostage, until they create a program that can correctly identify the color ingredients in my formulas, NONE OF WHICH ARE BLACK. (Now you know my blackest fantasy!)
Why no black? Because about nine out of ten times, colors muted with black are not as happy in shadowy corners and shady rooms, as colors muted with umber, or their complimentary color (that's the one straight across from it on the color wheel). Once in awhile, a Seattle-Foggy-Day color is exactly the mood a client wants to create, so lamp black goes in. Most times, shown the difference, folks opt out of the black-shaded one.
And finally, they wouldn't hire me, because I would be trying to figure out how to create colors that would roll on in interesting fadey-blends, which would have names like Soggy Moss, Overripe Apricot, and Bruised Raspberry. Oh, well. Those of you who want such colors know where to find me, assuming I'm not arrested by the color police, by the time you read this, or on the lamb...oh, now that would be a great color name for a pearly, interesting beigey-blend, "On the Lamb". That one I would not refuse to use!
Life is too short to play it safe with color! Paint juicy, unless pearl-tones really make you deliciously happy. If you have questions or comments, you can leave them below, or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
If you want to hire me to do an on-site color consultation, information for that is on my website at theartofthehome.com.