I am one of those people known, to my occasional chagrin, as one who lives in her own timezone. Time has often seemed to move at a pace out of sync with my imagined concept of reality (that may be either an oxymoron or a redundancy, but I can't quite decide, so I'll just leave it be). I have a profession where my livelihood would seem to depend on correctly estimating the hours in a job, and after 25 years of this, I can say with perfect certainty that (gracias a Dios) it does not. Yes, I know how long it took me to do something similar in another house, because it was slightly longer than something similar in the house before, and your house will take me longer yet, because as I perfect techniques, I don't get quicker, I get more perfection in the details. But then I have days like yesterday, where I left my house with just enough time to arrive at my destination, and managed, not once, but twice, to arrive a good fifteen minutes early. My apologies to anyone who was caused undue concern over the condition of their watch batteries.
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I thought I would completely refresh my front porch last weekend. Instead, I was sidetracked by several worthwhile adventures, and so all that was completed was the painting of this dresser, which acts as wind-block, plant stand, and outdoor storage. |
I once wrote a revised edition of the tortoise and the hare, in defense of the hare, who though he didn't reach the finish line first, he had all kinds of speedy, bouncy adventures along the way, enjoyed a perfectly lovely nap, and did, in the end, reach the destination. I have identified for years with rabbit as a totem symbol, knowing I have the pause-and-leap-and-change-direction-mid-air-and-always-have-a-plan-b-and-know-it's-all-cyclical, and let's not forget it's (pro-)creative qualities. (Okay, catch your breath, if that sentence did you in.) I think there is value in the hare's approach to exploring the scenery along the route to a goal, enjoying the encounters, leaping playfully, and resting as needed.
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The mural at Unity of the valley is not exactly progressing quick like a bunny... |
Last year, about this time, Tortoise/Turtle showed up in a big way in my life. In my earlier revised story, I felt tortoise had been given undue congratulations for staying boringly, steadily on the path, never pausing, never looking left or right, never playful, never bouncing in delight. Tortoise made it to the finish line first, but so what? It didn't seem to me that there was much joy in the journey, until, in my own journey around the calendar, from last spring to this one just ending, I got a lesson in turtle energy.
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...in fact, sidetracked by a few worthwhile adventures on the way to work (which included two unexpected hugs from perfect strangers), all I accomplished last Friday on Unity of the Valley's mural, was this tortoise/turtle and a few cacti. Not the big progress I had planned, but it seems a good balance of living in the present, and forward momentum toward a goal. |
When it became obvious that turtle was going to cross my path on a daily basis, and that ignoring the warning to take things at the pace presented was going to very obviously cost me (time, mishaps, and my first ever speeding ticket, received on the exact spot I moved a turtle from the day before), I took note. I slowed down. I started to learn to let things take the time they needed. I chose to have faith in Divine right time, over my own agenda.
Now, I'm very good at getting my way, exactly when I want it, but as turtle pointed out, quicker isn't always better, nor the most rewarding. Quicker isn't always necessary, either, and turtle's other notable trait, the fact that turtle cannot be separated from it's home, was, for me, a message straight from God, that I was to have faith that I would not be separated from my home, even during those first financially precarious months following a divorce. (If totems and God in the same paragraph are incongruous for you, please know that it's my belief that Divinity speaks to each of us in whatever language we will most likely understand. I stay alert to unusual patterns in nature and daily life, as one way of receiving messages. Communion with infinite, omniscient wisdom, to my way of thinking, neither began nor ended with the writing of that beautiful book, two thousand years ago.)
So, I've been thinking about turtle, as it's cycle in my life seems to be waning, and I think that though in the original story, tortoise looked neither left nor right, he
didn't miss all the scenery. I think this forward focus gave him time to really see what was right in front of him. And though he didn't bounce off on remarkable adventures, neither did he tire himself out with distractions, when he had something he really wanted to achieve, more than anything. Perhaps he didn't stop to visit with everyone he passed by, but who knows the interesting thoughts and plots he hatched in his head, as he marched rhythmically forward.
And so I am coming to a place of peace with time. I am learning to not overload my daily list with more than any human can accomplish, giving me a better liklihood of arriving for things on time. At the same time, I know my creative soul may be inspired at any moment to hare off on a tangent, and I do my best to arrange my schedule so that clients, and others, won't be inconvenienced by my artist's need to get an idea snared while it's fresh. I am coming to peace with my truth that, while sometimes I can bring results about quicker, if it doesn't feel good in the process, it may be time to drop into turtle mode, and trust that better results will come from a calm steadiness.
Note that I didn't say sit still. The only time I've personally seen a turtle sitting still in the wild, is when one has found itself in the midst of several lanes of traffic, and seems to have frozen in indecision. Yes, I'm the lady you see pulled over to the shoulder, running out with the snow shovel to scoop/push the hapless reptile to safety. I do it because it's kind to both the turtle, and to the motorists who will try to dodge it, and I do it also to say to Divinity, that if I should freeze in indecision, or find myself in harm's way, please send someone to give me a gentle push.
Some days I'm turtle slow, and some days I'm quick as a bunny. Some days I'm content in my home, and some days I'm haring around all over the metro. Some days I'm calm and focused, and some days I'm, well, a bit hare-brained, and oh so "late, late for a very important date". But these days, I'm really mostly at peace with time. There is so much to experience, and though I could push to get everything I want faster than fast, I know I get more when I take it at the pace that feels joyful in the moment. I think that pace has a name, and so I wish you, on whatever journey you are making in your life, Godspeed.
When not waxing philosophical over fables and timetables, I spend much of my time creating beautiful surroundings for clients, with the intent of enhancing their experience of this amazing journey called life. You can check out my portfolio at theartofthehome.com.
If you have comments or questions, or wish to share your own philosophical musings, feel free to click the word "comments" below, or email me at dawnmariedelara@gmail.com.